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Commentary: How can the Browns go big? Let us count the ways…

In honor of Super Bowl LV (that’s 55, for all you Roman Numeral illiterates, of which I am a proud card-carrying member), here are 55 reasons why the Browns will be playing in Super Bowl 56 (aka. “LVI”):

  1. Because the Browns have never gone 56 consecutive years without playing for a championship. I mean, come on. This is a no-brainer.
  2. Kevin Stefanski already is one of the five best coaches in the NFL and holds the NFL record for most games won while sitting in his basement after only one year on the job.
  3. Tom Brady looks like he might be getting tired of winning Super Bowls.
  4. If he wins it again this year, Patrick Mahomes will start to lose interest.
  5. A reborn Odell Beckham Jr., after watching the chummy feel good on the Beckham-less Browns the second half of this season, will return next season just trying to quietly fit in while scaring the hello out of opponents with the only ingredient missing from the Browns’ offense: blazing speed.
  6. Ben Roethlisberger might retire. Irony of ironies: After years of being unable to beat him, the Browns are now hoping he doesn’t retire.
  7. The Browns have the best offensive line in the NFL, just like they did in 1964. Ask your grandfather what happened that year.
  8. There are rumors that, starting next season, missed 1-yard-line helmet-to-helmet contact on a receiver wearing brown and orange at a critical point in a playoff game that probably cost said team a victory will now be reviewable.
  9. The Browns’ offense is so good they will probably only draft defensive players this year.
  10. Three words: The Scottish Hammer.
  11. Super Bowl 56 will be played in SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, Calif. Since entering the NFL in 1950, the Browns have never lost a game in SoFi Stadium.
  12. According to one of those analytics companies, Baker Mayfield will wake up feeling dangerous for 14 games and ornery for the other two in the Browns’ 16 next season.
  13. In the second game between the Browns and Ravens next season, Lamar Jackson is expected to have even more extensive “cramps,” if you know what I mean.
  14. In their first year going back to their classic uniforms, the Browns came within two wins of reaching the Super Bowl. Coincidence? I think not.
  15. Stefanski is saving his Jedrick Wills run-pass option off a tackle-eligible reverse for next season’s playoffs. (You didn’t hear that from me.)
  16. Five words: the firm of Chubb & Hunt.
  17. Browns center J.C. Tretter is the president of the NFL Players Association. Go ahead, connect the dots.
  18. Being best known for having never lost a Super Bowl loses its luster after half a century.
  19. Name a long snapper more deserving of a Super Bowl ring than Charley Hughlett.
  20. Name another long snapper, period.
  21. America deserves Stefanski leading a championship parade, just four years after another Browns coach jumped in the lake.
  22. It might even cause Bill Belichick to smile.
  23. Because the Browns still owe Joe Thomas a ring.
  24. No fan base in history has more deserved a championship than Browns fans.
  25. Maybe it would make LeBron come back.
  26. It would give the Browns a winning record in Super Bowls.
  27. Think of the T-shirts that would be sold.
  28. Let’s face it, the confetti would taste that much better.
  29. Somewhere Gerard Warren would be smiling.
  30. Wyatt Teller hosting “Saturday Night Live,” anyone?
  31. The additional plot lines for Baker Mayfield’s Progressive commercials would be glorious.
  32. Did I mention nobody deserves a Super Bowl ring more than Charley Hughlett?
  33. It would give the great Jim Brown one more moment in the sun.
  34. Memories of The Drive, The Fumble, Red Right 88 and the Jump in The Lake could all just go jump in the lake.
  35. A shirtless J.R. Smith as grand marshal of the championship parade? Who wouldn’t sign up for that?
  36. Maybe even a cameo from Freddie Kitchens?
  37. On the plus side, waiting over 50 years to play in the Super Bowl for the first time requires admirable organizational self-discipline, don’t you think?
  38. How many more games and seasons does Doug Dieken have to sit through?
  39. Not to mention Jim Donovan.
  40. The Browns will win the Super Bowl next season because they did almost everything right this season.
  41. This, our distant relatives tell us, is what it looks like when a team is about to win the Super Bowl.
  42. It hires a great coach.
  43. It hires an excellent general manager.
  44. It assembles a very strong roster.
  45. A quarterback has a breakout season.
  46. The preceding season it dips its toe in the playoff waters.
  47. All that’s happened.
  48. Plus, the Indians are declining and the Cavs are realigning.
  49. The Browns are the only team aggressively trying to win now.
  50. This feels right.
  51. “There’s a gleam, men!” Marty Schottenheimer once said.
  52. There’s a gleam now.
  53. There’s also a team now.
  54. One on the verge of winning big.
  55. Of winning it all.

Jim Ingraham is a sports columnist for the Elyria Chronicle-Telegram and the Medina Gazette. Contact him at 329-7135 or [email protected] and follow him @Jim_Ingraham on Twitter

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